Although you may think that all your attempts to win back your ex lover were done with the right intentions you should still re-think the things you have done and said. You just might find that there is another way to approach the whole situation.
When you met with your love to discuss getting back together did you:
(1) Tell your ex that no matter what happens you still want to be friends?
Bad move. First of all you can’t be friends. If your lover has any brains they know this is true. And, they know that you are just saying that because you are desperate to be in their company. You can’t shut off your feelings and be “friends” after having an intimate relationship with someone. It won’t work. You think that at if you tell your lover that you can still be friends you will still have some control over the relationship and eventually get back together. But this is not true because in time your emotions will become so out of whack that you will find yourself trying to force your love to spend more time with you and you might even get to the point of giving ultimatums, which will drive your ex further away.
When a lover has broken up with you it puts you in a very vulnerable situation and you have to be very careful what you say and do because one wrong move will put your ex over the edge and you will never be able to get back together.
(2) Did You Make Promises To Change?
Wrong move number 2. Now you are stuck. If you don’t do what you promised and you mess up your lover will never believe you again. You must first think if what your lover wants you to change is possible for you to do and maintain. You have to be yourself in your relationship or else it’s doomed to fail. It takes two to make a relationship work and if you have to be someone you are not then this relationship should end. I know that’s harsh but in the long run it will free you to be with someone who respects and loves you for who you are.
(3) Did You Ask Your Lover To Tell You What You Can Do To Improve the Relationship?
Wrong move number 3. Now you’ve lost control. You’re desperate and you think if your lover can tell you what you should do to make the relationship work then you can just magically make everything alright. The problem is in your heart you may not completely understand why they will work - you’re just agreeing to it in order it to get back with your ex.
It’s a temporary fix. You won’t be able to maintain this and eventually will feel resentment towards your ex. And, once you don’t do what your lover thinks is acceptable for the relationship he or she will leave again.
There are so many good techniques to get what you want out of the relationship while giving your lover what he or she wants without compromising your soul and your heart. You just need to keep some distance and get some advice to handle each situation correctly if you want to win back your ex lover.
