When she realized that she was entering menopause, Pamela Roch immediately begin to wonder how her "change of life" might affect her relationship with her husband Chuck. One night, they sat down together and talked at length about all of their worries and concerns. This conversation sparked Pamela's idea for her popular lecture series, "Menopause for Dummies," which gives both men and women ideas and advice for dealing with the problems brought on by menopause.
Pamela has learned through working with thousands of men and women that each sex has its own, very different conceptions of menopause. Men worry about how menopause will change their partner, and, in turn, change their own lives. How will she behave? Will she have mood swings? What will happen to her libido? Some men have actually gone so far as to worry that their mate will become a completely different, crazy person during menopause.
Women have concerns about the affects of menopause on their emotions. They also worry about how much support they will receive from their partners and families during this changing time. Pamela found that a large number of women had the worry that their husband would leave them and not give them the support they thought they would need. A three pronged approach was found to be a great approach to help the couple through this time filled with so many concerns and worries.
The first thing to know about menopause for couples is the symptoms that it will cause, as well as what it does not do to the body. Dr. Susan Franklin, one of Pamela's lecture instructors, asserts that most people overestimate the potential effects of menopause. "We hear about many popular culture myths about menopause," states Franklin. "We mostly assume that we will becoming raging witches, with constant hot flashes and hair on our chins". In reality, according to Franklin, most only experience more mild and short lasting effects of menopause.
Second, couples need to receive some form of family therapy in order to assist them in sharing their fears and worries with one another. In Pamela's workshops, small group therapy sessions are offered, led by a board-certified therapist. In these sessions, men and women are encouraged to talk to one another and share their concerns and articulate their needs. Sex therapy is also useful to increase libido - often a problem in female menopause.
Third, according to Pamela, some of the more annoying and uncomfortable side-effects of menopause may be alleviated by medical treatment. Low doses of hormones are often beneficial for women suffering from hot flashes or unwanted hair growth during menopause. Antidepressants can also help fight the emotional roller coaster of mood swings. These medications can be taken temporarily and then discontinued when they aren't needed any longer.
