After a break up one of the biggest questions most people have is how to make their ex return their call. You want to put your relationship back together but are worried that what you say might drive your ex away rather than get them to pick up the phone and talk to you. You should be encouraged to know that there are actually “magic” words to use to compel your ex to return your call.
There are two things you should NEVER say when leaving a message for your ex to get them to return your call:
1) Never PLEAD to get them to call you back. This puts you in a distinct “psychological” disadvantage. For example:
“Barbara, it’s Joe, please call me back. I NEED to talk to you. Please for old times sake please call me back.”
2)Never use the EMERGENCY technique as a ploy to get them to call you back such as:
”Artie, please you HAVE to call me back, it’s an EMERGENCY. Really!”
It’s pretty obvious that these kinds of messages are not going to get your ex to return your call because: (1) you sound desperate, and (2) there is nothing in that message that appeals to the needs of your ex. In short, they don’t touch upon the two things that are powerful forces in influencing the human mind, i.e., curiosity and self interest!
So a much more effective way to get your ex to return your call is to appeal to both their curiosity and self interest when you leave a phone message. Even though you may think it’s corny or weird the following technique works almost every time.
In a very calm and friendly tone (as if you never broke up at all or like it doesn’t bother you at all) this is the message you should leave to get your ex to return your call:
" Matthew, it’s Cathy calling. I’m calling just to let you know how
much I appreciate what you did for me. Call me because I
want to give you a personal thanks.”
Matthew will call Cathy back because his natural human curiosity will make it hard for him to resist finding out exactly what he did for Cathy. At this point he doesn’t remember what the heck he could have done to make her so happy – he’ll just have to call back to find out! He also feels good because the message was calm and friendly and non-threatening. There was no pleading or emotional outburst to make him want to avoid talking to Cathy.
A note of caution! Before you call you better figure out what your ex did that you do appreciate because if your ex calls back and you have nothing to say except….I love you please come back to me….or something similar you will blow that relationship for good because your ex will not be able to trust you again and therefore any new techniques you use will not work in the future. If you trick your ex you can forget about getting your ex to return your call ever again. What you are calling about can be a small thing but it needs to be believable.
I must warn you though that if you use this technique without any other plan in place to get your ex back the right way then using this phone call technique will do more harm than good. You must have a workable strategy.
The things you do before, during and after you get your ex to return your call are much more important than getting them to actually return your call.
